Albufeira's Forum : Avril wanted a joke! https://albufeira.com/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Tue, 02 Jun 2026 23:25:49 +0000 Tue, 18 Apr 2017 19:45:06 +0000 https://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.03 360 albufeira.com/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=2434 <![CDATA[Albufeira's Forum]]> https://albufeira.com/forum//images/albufeira-forum-logo.png https://albufeira.com/forum/ <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : · The Garda Traffic Corps found...]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post101962.html#101962 Author: malagabob
Subject: 2434
Posted: 18/April/2017 at 19:45

ยท
The Garda Traffic Corps found over 200 dead crows on the M7 near Limerick recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu.
The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws.
By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars.
The investigators then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike"]]> Tue, 18 Apr 2017 19:45:06 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post101962.html#101962 <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : Brilliant. Here&#039;s one for...]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98702.html#98702 Author: Phil.
Subject: 2434
Posted: 17/July/2016 at 16:45

Brilliant. Here's one for you. Syria,Iraq and Iran have had severe earthquakes.Six million people dead and the toll is rising. America is sending $10 million ,the Canadians are sending medical supplies, Australia and New Zealand are sending livestock and NATO are sending peace keeping troops. Theresa May sent 8 million replacement Muslims! ]]> Sun, 17 Jul 2016 16:45:41 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98702.html#98702 <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : Eagle will never makeleader of...]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98588.html#98588 Author: Big Col
Subject: 2434
Posted: 12/July/2016 at 11:07

Eagle will never make leader of the Labour Party, she's too below par.]]> Tue, 12 Jul 2016 11:07:08 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98588.html#98588 <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : Before anyone can make a decision...]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98498.html#98498 Author: DICEYUK
Subject: 2434
Posted: 08/July/2016 at 11:03

Before anyone can make a decision I think you need to post a picture of herSmile]]> Fri, 08 Jul 2016 11:03:41 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98498.html#98498 <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : I&#039;ve got two tickets for...]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98495.html#98495 Author: Andrew
Subject: 2434
Posted: 08/July/2016 at 08:44

I've got two tickets for the Euro finals on Sunday but, sod it, hadn't realised it was my wedding day so obviously I can't go!!
Get in touch if you want to go instead of me, it's St. Mary's Church, Dudley and the girls name is Sarah....
]]> Fri, 08 Jul 2016 08:44:26 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98495.html#98495 <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : Like it. ]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98492.html#98492 Author: tiganut
Subject: 2434
Posted: 08/July/2016 at 08:00

Like it.LOL]]> Fri, 08 Jul 2016 08:00:11 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98492.html#98492 <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : Came home from work, there was...]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98491.html#98491 Author: malagabob
Subject: 2434
Posted: 08/July/2016 at 07:10

Came home from work, there was a note off the wife on the TV "It's not working, I'm leaving". Plugged it in,switched on perfect picture stupid mare.]]> Fri, 08 Jul 2016 07:10:32 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98491.html#98491 <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : Had a txt off the wife earlier...]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98490.html#98490 Author: malagabob
Subject: 2434
Posted: 08/July/2016 at 07:07

Had a txt off the wife earlier saying she was in casualty. Well I watched the whole 60 minutes and I haven't seen her once. I'm watching the recording to see if I missed her and I'm starving.]]> Fri, 08 Jul 2016 07:07:17 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98490.html#98490 <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : Brexit......What a fat Yorkshire...]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98272.html#98272 Author: tonisdad
Subject: 2434
Posted: 27/June/2016 at 10:46

Brexit......What a fat Yorkshire lass does when she sits on a wooden bench.
]]> Mon, 27 Jun 2016 10:46:54 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post98272.html#98272 <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : Doctor&#039;s consultation;Patient...]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post97490.html#97490 Author: Jock
Subject: 2434
Posted: 13/May/2016 at 10:20

Doctor's consultation;
Patient - Doctor, I'm having trouble with me aviaries
Doctor - Aviaries? Don't you mean your ovaries?
Patient - No, it's definitely me aviaries.
So the doctor examines her.........
Doctor - You're right madam, it is your aviaries.  There's definitely been a cockatoo in there.
]]> Fri, 13 May 2016 10:20:39 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post97490.html#97490 <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : A fellow sat on the barber&#039;s...]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post97309.html#97309 Author: tiganut
Subject: 2434
Posted: 06/May/2016 at 12:55

Afellow sat on the barber's chair "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine...

Thebarber began to lather his face , whilea woman with the biggest,

firmest,most beautiful real breasts that he had ever seenknelt down

andbegan to shine his shoes. 

Thefellow said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some

timein a hotel room."

 

Shereplied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that."

 

Thefellow said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you thedifference."

 

Shesaid, "You tell him; you're closer"]]> Fri, 06 May 2016 12:55:22 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post97309.html#97309 <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : In a train from London to Manchester...]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post96930.html#96930 Author: tiganut
Subject: 2434
Posted: 18/April/2016 at 13:47

In a train from London to Manchester an American was giving the Englishman sitting across from him a hard time.
The trouble with you English is that you are too stuffy, you set yourselves apart, keep your stiff upper lip and think
you are better than the rest of us.

Look at me said the American, I'm me, I have a little Italian in me, a bit of Greek blood, a little Irish and some 
Spanish blood, what do you say to that?

The Englishman lowered his newspaper, looked over his glasses and replied
How very sporting of your mother.]]> Mon, 18 Apr 2016 13:47:03 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post96930.html#96930 <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : I have just spent half an hour...]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post96925.html#96925 Author: TomUK
Subject: 2434
Posted: 18/April/2016 at 10:33

I have just spent half an hour removing all the German names from my phone - I wanted to make it 'Hans free'.]]> Mon, 18 Apr 2016 10:33:48 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post96925.html#96925 <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : Enjoying the jokes! ]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post96909.html#96909 Author: Patti
Subject: 2434
Posted: 17/April/2016 at 09:06

Enjoying the jokes!]]> Sun, 17 Apr 2016 09:06:34 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post96909.html#96909 <![CDATA[Avril wanted a joke! : Many years ago during my married...]]> https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post96906.html#96906 Author: alan&alice
Subject: 2434
Posted: 16/April/2016 at 23:52

Many years ago during my married days, I accidentally overturned my golf cart.

Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course,

heard the noise and called out: "Are you okay, what's your name?"

"It's John, and I'm okay thanks," I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.

"John, she said, (firm loose breasts undulating beneath her white silky robe) "forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while and I'll help you get the cart up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."

"Oh, come on now " Elizabeth insisted.

She was so very pretty, very very sexy and very persuasive ... I was weak.

"Well okay," I finally agreed but thought to myself, "my wife won't like it."

After a couple of restorative Scotch and waters, I thanked Elizabeth.

"I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset.

So I'd best go now."

"Don't be silly!" Elizabeth said with a smile, letting her robe fall open slightly.

"She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Still under the cart, I guess" I said.]]> Sat, 16 Apr 2016 23:52:54 +0000 https://albufeira.com/forum/avril-wanted-a-joke_topic2434_post96906.html#96906