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Topic ClosedAvril wanted a joke!

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gerry View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15/January/2009 at 16:49
I have this feeling that Exiledbum3 is a Chelsea supporter, so God love him, if your team were beaten 3 - nil by Man united you might not find the jokes funny either. So don't worry Exilebum2 we know you don't mean it. And just to brighten you up I think Chelsea will finish in the top four and Liverpool will be champs.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15/January/2009 at 22:56
Gerry, Carlsberg will be pleased, Liverpool Champs.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15/January/2009 at 23:38
Jayjan this is the area for jokes, isn't  it . Just kidding Carlsberg I really would like them to win the title for a nice change.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16/January/2009 at 00:14
Well Gerry if you have working brain like me, and i am sure you have, YES it is, corny jokes or not. Regards Liverpool, I too hope they win the Championship, it will make a change from ManU and Chelsea. I live in Manchester like Carlsberg, but dont support that famous team, my teams are, dare i say Bolton Wanderers & Man City, not doing too well at the moment, but maybe when Man city get Caca (Spelling) they may improve, saying they are going to pay some exhorbitant amount of money for him, aint it nice having a rich man as the owner.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16/January/2009 at 15:11
Sorry to disappoint folks but as much as i would like my footy team to win the premiership i do not think they will, Man united will pip us to the post on the last day of the season,united will snatch it with a 97th minute penalty earned by that Real Madrid bound winker ronaldo...MURPHY'S I,M NOT BITTER.
 
anyway as stated before  lighten up...just before xmas i was a bit fed up of this forum due to a couple of erm people, but thanks to support from other members i realised i shouldnt let saddo,s get me down.
 
Liverpool vs Chelsea 1st february....bring it on.Dancing
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16/January/2009 at 19:14
Originally posted by Carlsberg10 Carlsberg10 wrote:

yes.....i agree whole-heartedly...even though  it is a site regarding Albufeira and surrounding areas it does need  a little place where folk can chat-chit-chat and joke amongst themselves about topics which are not associated with Albufeira at all,i dont know what the problem is. we all stick to our topics, i know they lead astray slightly but what forum does,nt. it wont be long before the sour-grapes who come on here perhaps twice a year and complain and end up with us all getting booted off. probably the same folk who complain on here are the same who complain to the BBC over something or nothing. WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE.get a grip,get a life ,lighten up. struth its just a forum on a place where lots of people love visiting,living and stuff.
Ying%20Yang
 
I agree!
 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21/January/2009 at 01:31
Good Doctor






    The doctor said,   'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.
The bad news is that it will require
                                                   castration.



   You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press
on your spine, and the pressure creates
            one hell of a headache.  The only way to relieve the
pressure is to remove the testicles.'


   Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live
for.  He had no choice but to go under
                                                    the knife.



  When he left the hospital,  he was without a headache for the first
time in 20 years, but he felt like he was
                                      missing an important part of
himself.


  As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a
different person.  He could make a new beginning
                                               and live a new life.



  He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A
new suit.'   He entered the shop and told
                                       the salesman, 'I'd like a new
suit.'


                    The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's
see...size 44 long.'
    Joe laughed, ' That's right, how did you know?'   'Been i n the
business 60 years!' the tailor said.   Joe
                                       tried on the suit; it fit
perfectly.


  As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a
new shirt?'   Joe thought for a moment
                                              and then said, 'Sure.'

  The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2
neck.' Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how
        did you know?'   ' Been in the business 60 years.'   Joe tried
on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.


  Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, 'How
about some new underwear?'   Joe thought
                    for a moment and said, 'Sure.'   The salesman said,
'Let's see...size 36.'


  Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got y ou, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18
years old.'   The salesman shook his head,
   'You can't wear a size 34.   A size 34 would press your testicles up
against the base of your spine and give
                                           you one hell of a headache.'



                                                 New suit - $400

                                                 New shirt - $36

                                                New underwear - $6

                                            Second opinion - PRICELESS
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25/January/2009 at 21:23
A new Middle Eastern crisis erupted last night as Dubai TV was refused permission to broadcast The Flintones.

A spokesman for the channel said:

"A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour but we have heard that people in Abu Dhabi do"
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25/January/2009 at 21:24
Where does Kylie get her kebabs from?

... Jason's Donnervan
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26/January/2009 at 20:23
Loved the flintstones one. Have told it to everyone at work today, they thought it an absolute hoot. Totally harmless and very, very funny, well done.
Consistently inconsistent, Esse sou eu!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27/January/2009 at 15:21

A man is cupping his hand to scoop water from a highland stream in Scotland. 

The gamekeeper spots him and shouts,

'Dinnae drink thon water mun, it's foo o' coo's sh*te n pish.'  

The man replies, 'my good fellow, I'm English.... repeat that in English.' 

The gamekeeper replies,

'I said use both hands - you get more that way.'

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01/February/2009 at 19:38
I had my son baptised today. The vicar was dressed in a gorilla costume

Seemed strange at first, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03/February/2009 at 03:10

An englishman walked into a bar.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 whisteling
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
he was taken to hospital and had 10 stitches inserted.
 
 
 
Evil%20Laugh
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03/February/2009 at 21:23

Won £10,000 on the lottery last Saturday and the wife asked me to take her somewhere expensive so I took her to the petrol station.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03/February/2009 at 21:31
Deja Vu?
Consistently inconsistent, Esse sou eu!
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