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gerry
Senior Member
Joined: 07/January/2007
Status: Offline
Points: 551
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Posted: 15/January/2009 at 16:49 |
I have this feeling that Exiledbum3 is a Chelsea supporter, so God love him, if your team were beaten 3 - nil by Man united you might not find the jokes funny either. So don't worry Exilebum2 we know you don't mean it. And just to brighten you up I think Chelsea will finish in the top four and Liverpool will be champs.
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Jayjan
Top Contributors
Joined: 21/November/2006
Status: Offline
Points: 7400
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Posted: 15/January/2009 at 22:56 |
Gerry, Carlsberg will be pleased, Liverpool Champs.
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gerry
Senior Member
Joined: 07/January/2007
Status: Offline
Points: 551
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Posted: 15/January/2009 at 23:38 |
Jayjan this is the area for jokes, isn't it . Just kidding Carlsberg I really would like them to win the title for a nice change.
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Jayjan
Top Contributors
Joined: 21/November/2006
Status: Offline
Points: 7400
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Posted: 16/January/2009 at 00:14 |
Well Gerry if you have working brain like me, and i am sure you have, YES it is, corny jokes or not. Regards Liverpool, I too hope they win the Championship, it will make a change from ManU and Chelsea. I live in Manchester like Carlsberg, but dont support that famous team, my teams are, dare i say Bolton Wanderers & Man City, not doing too well at the moment, but maybe when Man city get Caca (Spelling) they may improve, saying they are going to pay some exhorbitant amount of money for him, aint it nice having a rich man as the owner.
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Guests
Guest
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Posted: 16/January/2009 at 15:11 |
Sorry to disappoint folks but as much as i would like my footy team to win the premiership i do not think they will, Man united will pip us to the post on the last day of the season,united will snatch it with a 97th minute penalty earned by that Real Madrid bound winker ronaldo...MURPHY'S I,M NOT BITTER.
anyway as stated before lighten up...just before xmas i was a bit fed up of this forum due to a couple of erm people, but thanks to support from other members i realised i shouldnt let saddo,s get me down.
Liverpool vs Chelsea 1st february....bring it on.
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mystery
Regular
Joined: 13/April/2007
Location: Italy
Status: Offline
Points: 253
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Posted: 16/January/2009 at 19:14 |
Carlsberg10 wrote:
yes.....i agree whole-heartedly...even though it is a site regarding Albufeira and surrounding areas it does need a little place where folk can chat-chit-chat and joke amongst themselves about topics which are not associated with Albufeira at all,i dont know what the problem is. we all stick to our topics, i know they lead astray slightly but what forum does,nt. it wont be long before the sour-grapes who come on here perhaps twice a year and complain and end up with us all getting booted off. probably the same folk who complain on here are the same who complain to the BBC over something or nothing. WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE.get a grip,get a life ,lighten up. struth its just a forum on a place where lots of people love visiting,living and stuff.
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I agree!
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gerry
Senior Member
Joined: 07/January/2007
Status: Offline
Points: 551
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Posted: 21/January/2009 at 01:31 |
Good Doctor
The doctor said, 'Joe, the good
news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will
require
castration.
You have a very rare condition which causes your
testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one
hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the
testicles.'
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had
anything to live for. He had no choice but to go
under the
knife.
When he left the hospital, he was without a headache
for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he
was missing an important part
of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he
felt like a different person. He could make a new
beginning and live a new
life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I
need... A new suit.' He entered the shop and
told the salesman, 'I'd like a
new suit.'
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly
and said, 'Let's see...size 44 long.' Joe laughed, ' That's right, how
did you know?' 'Been i n the business 60 years!' the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit; it
fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the
salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?' Joe thought for a
moment and then said,
'Sure.'
The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and
16-1/2 neck.' Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you
know?' ' Been in the business 60 years.' Joe tried on the shirt, and it
fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the
salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?' Joe
thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.' The salesman
said, 'Let's see...size 36.'
Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got y ou,
I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.' The salesman shook his
head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles
up against the base of your spine and
give you one hell of a
headache.'
New
suit - $400
New shirt -
$36
New underwear -
$6
Second opinion - PRICELESS
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mrandyd
Regular
Joined: 04/November/2008
Location: Birmingham
Status: Offline
Points: 214
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Posted: 25/January/2009 at 21:23 |
A new Middle Eastern crisis erupted last night as Dubai TV was refused permission to broadcast The Flintones.
A spokesman for the channel said:
"A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour but we have heard that people in Abu Dhabi do"
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mrandyd
Regular
Joined: 04/November/2008
Location: Birmingham
Status: Offline
Points: 214
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Posted: 25/January/2009 at 21:24 |
Where does Kylie get her kebabs from?
... Jason's Donnervan
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Avril
Top Contributors
Joined: 27/February/2008
Status: Offline
Points: 4415
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Posted: 26/January/2009 at 20:23 |
Loved the flintstones one. Have told it to everyone at work today, they thought it an absolute hoot. Totally harmless and very, very funny, well done.
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Consistently inconsistent, Esse sou eu!
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gerry
Senior Member
Joined: 07/January/2007
Status: Offline
Points: 551
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Posted: 27/January/2009 at 15:21 |
A man is cupping his hand to scoop water from a highland stream in Scotland.
The gamekeeper spots him and shouts,
'Dinnae drink thon water mun, it's foo o' coo's sh*te n pish.'
The man replies, 'my good fellow, I'm English.... repeat that in English.'
'I said use both hands - you get more that way.'
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mrandyd
Regular
Joined: 04/November/2008
Location: Birmingham
Status: Offline
Points: 214
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Posted: 01/February/2009 at 19:38 |
I had my son baptised today. The vicar was dressed in a gorilla costume
Seemed strange at first, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
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Guests
Guest
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Posted: 03/February/2009 at 03:10 |
An englishman walked into a bar.
he was taken to hospital and had 10 stitches inserted.
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Wireman
Senior Member
Joined: 17/April/2007
Status: Offline
Points: 1263
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Posted: 03/February/2009 at 21:23 |
Won £10,000 on the lottery last Saturday and the wife asked me to take her somewhere expensive so I took her to the petrol station.
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Regular Visitor
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Avril
Top Contributors
Joined: 27/February/2008
Status: Offline
Points: 4415
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Posted: 03/February/2009 at 21:31 |
Deja Vu?
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Consistently inconsistent, Esse sou eu!
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