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Andrew
Top Contributors
Joined: 27/December/2008
Location: UK or Algarve
Status: Offline
Points: 7259
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Posted: 02/June/2012 at 15:29 |
Apologies if already posted but this is brilliant, a choir of dogs doing a Star Wars tune!
http://www.nesn.com/2012/01/volkswagon-super-bowl-commercial-teaser-shows-off-bark-side-with-star-wars-singing-dogs.html?utm_source=crowdignite.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=crowdignite.com
You may well have to cut and paste or else Google.. It is worth it.
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Andrew
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Avril
Top Contributors
Joined: 27/February/2008
Status: Offline
Points: 4415
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Posted: 03/June/2012 at 22:43 |
Ha ha, I did titter out loud!!
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Avril
Top Contributors
Joined: 27/February/2008
Status: Offline
Points: 4415
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Posted: 05/June/2012 at 09:02 |
Cheryl Cole warbling at the Jubilee concert - what a joke!
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tiganut
Top Contributors
Joined: 29/July/2009
Status: Offline
Points: 2010
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Posted: 07/June/2012 at 07:57 |
Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn't have much
luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on
it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years
old. It's shiny and in absolute mint condition.
He immediately buys it
and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10
years.
'Well, it's quite simple really,' says the seller, 'whenever the
bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It
protects it from the rain.' (true story)
And he hands Joe a jar of
Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet
her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.
But just before they
enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something
about my family before we go in.'
'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In
fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the
dishes.'
'No problem,' he says.. and in they go.
Joe is shocked.
Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty
dishes.
In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the
stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks... dirty dishes.
They sit
down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner
progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
So he leans
over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
So he reaches over and
fondles her breasts.
Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs
her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and screws her, right
there in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered,
her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but
no one says a word.
He looks at her mom..
'She's got a great
body,' he thinks.
So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table,
pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose right there
on the dinner table.
After she has a big orgasm, he sits down
again.
Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, the Mom
is pleasantly beaming. But still.... total silence.
All of a sudden
there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his
bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket....
Suddenly the
father shouted....
'I'll do the ******* dishes!!'
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He Who Dies With The Most Toys Wins
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el birnn
Regular
Joined: 13/January/2010
Location: Not in Brighton
Status: Offline
Points: 390
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Posted: 07/June/2012 at 10:04 |
haha good un
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Nunc bibendum est
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alan&alice
Top Contributors
Joined: 07/May/2006
Location: albufeira
Status: Offline
Points: 1384
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Posted: 07/June/2012 at 13:02 |
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http://www.holidaylettings.co.uk/rentals/albufeira/481652
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mystery
Regular
Joined: 13/April/2007
Location: Italy
Status: Offline
Points: 253
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Posted: 07/June/2012 at 18:02 |
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Live life to the max!
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bob d
Top Contributors
Joined: 05/February/2008
Location: Northern Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 2122
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Posted: 08/June/2012 at 12:26 |
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."
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we're not brazil we're norn iron
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Avril
Top Contributors
Joined: 27/February/2008
Status: Offline
Points: 4415
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Posted: 11/June/2012 at 09:12 |
Hee hee, guddun's !
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Consistently inconsistent, Esse sou eu!
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tiganut
Top Contributors
Joined: 29/July/2009
Status: Offline
Points: 2010
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Posted: 11/June/2012 at 16:38 |
A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. He replied, "No thanks. I do not drink. I tried it once, but I did not like it."
So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"
However, the man said, "No thanks. I do not smoke. I tried it once, but I did not like it."
The bartender asked him if he would like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I do not like pool. I tried it once, but I did not like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I am waiting for my son."
The bartender said, "Your only son, I am guessing?" .
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He Who Dies With The Most Toys Wins
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Avril
Top Contributors
Joined: 27/February/2008
Status: Offline
Points: 4415
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Posted: 11/June/2012 at 16:52 |
Stan was goin to the dentists this mornin when he bumped into his mate Alan. "Stan they reckon there's a lass works in there who loves givin blow jobs and smokin weed". I said "What's her name". Alan say's "Her friends call her Oral High Jean".
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Consistently inconsistent, Esse sou eu!
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Algarveaddick
Top Contributors
Joined: 27/December/2008
Location: Portugal
Status: Offline
Points: 5049
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Posted: 11/June/2012 at 23:42 |
tiganut wrote:
<span style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; ">A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. He replied, "No thanks. I do not drink. I tried it once, but I did not like it."</span><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><span style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; ">So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"</span><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><span style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; ">However, the man said, "No thanks. I do not smoke. I tried it once, but I did not like it."</span><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><span style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; ">The bartender asked him if he would like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I do not like pool. I tried it once, but I did not like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I am waiting for my son."</span><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><span style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; ">The bartender said, "Your only son, I am guessing?" .</span>
| Sounds like some of the post pub culture people we get in Floyd's sometimes...
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Algarveaddick
Top Contributors
Joined: 27/December/2008
Location: Portugal
Status: Offline
Points: 5049
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Posted: 11/June/2012 at 23:43 |
Algarveaddick wrote:
tiganut wrote:
<span style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; ">A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. He replied, "No thanks. I do not drink. I tried it once, but I did not like it."</span><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><span style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; ">So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"</span><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><span style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; ">However, the man said, "No thanks. I do not smoke. I tried it once, but I did not like it."</span><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><span style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; ">The bartender asked him if he would like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I do not like pool. I tried it once, but I did not like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I am waiting for my son."</span><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><br style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; "><span style="font-family: verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; : rgb245, 245, 255; ">The bartender said, "Your only son, I am guessing?" .</span>
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Sounds like some of the post pub culture people we get in Floyd's sometimes... | Even more so with the bizarre quote that happened there...
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tiganut
Top Contributors
Joined: 29/July/2009
Status: Offline
Points: 2010
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Posted: 12/June/2012 at 07:28 |
How did you manage that?
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He Who Dies With The Most Toys Wins
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uksviper
Newbie
Joined: 07/August/2011
Location: Portugal
Status: Offline
Points: 86
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Posted: 12/June/2012 at 11:51 |
a very old carry on joke
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